A Band of Misfits Got Together and... Laughed
GlitchOS: Puppet Protocol
Also labeled under - The Book of Boris – Dept. of Petty Affairs Edition
Trigger
When mockery, lecturing, or spectacle is demanded but words alone feel too clean.
Execution
Jerry, The Ankle Biter (robe donned) → Pulls out the props. Finger puppets, sock drama, paper-bag masks. Turns real grievances into cheap theatre so the target has to sit through their own bullshit acted back at them.
Mr. Catford (the tuxedo Persian) → Voice of dry judgment. Provides the aristocratic commentary, like a bored judge watching the farce. “Pathetic. Even the puppet performs better.”
Mrs. Catford (the Himalayan queen) → Sharp, strategic claws. Delivers the cutting interjections that slice through the farce, turning the scene into pure humiliation. “Do carry on, darling. The string is showing.”
The Clown (unhinged laughter in the rafters) → Breaks the tension with chaos. His cackle isn’t approval, it’s the death knell. When he laughs, the puppet show is no longer satire—it’s a eulogy.
Core Philosophy
Why waste real breath when you can disarm with absurdity? Puppets trivialize power. The crown, the insult, the “serious” posture—all reduced to finger theatre. Once they’re a puppet, they’re not a threat. They’re a prop.
Variants
Gaslighting Gary & Compromising Carl → Spin doctor puppets, turning excuses into pantomime.
PSA Mode → “Don’t Do Drugs” style interruptions, where the moral lands harder than the mockery.
Loading Screen Edition → Dragging out silence, XP boot-ups, “ding” moments until the target breaks from sheer awkward endurance.
Result
Targets aren’t just dismissed—they’re mocked into irrelevance. The room laughs, the puppets drop, and the reckoning is complete.
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