A Little Peace. That's All I'm Asking.
Sometimes I wonder how many unexpected expenses, complications, and little disasters one person is supposed to absorb before they're allowed to have an ordinary day.
I went to the hospital because my blood sugar was dangerously high. I was evaluated, and thankfully, they ruled out diabetic ketoacidosis. That's good news. I'm grateful for that.
But even getting home turned into another expense. The hospital's transportation arrangement was apparently discontinued, so I had to arrange and pay for my own ride in the middle of the night.
It's another expense. Another inconvenience. Another little piece of my already limited resources disappearing because something happened that I didn't plan for.
And that's what wears me down.
It's not always one enormous disaster. Sometimes it's the accumulation of everything. The medical appointments, prescriptions, phone calls, transportation, bills, and all the little administrative obstacles that seem to appear whenever you're already struggling to keep your head above water.
I've been trying to build something for myself. Save money. Find steady work. Pay what needs paying. Get myself into a position where I can finally stand on my own two feet without constantly worrying about what the next unexpected expense will be.
I'm not asking for a mansion. I'm not asking for a fancy car, expensive vacations, or some extravagant lifestyle.
I want a modest apartment.
A comfortable little place where I can make my tea, sit down, play my games, watch something on television, and enjoy the company of a couple of cats. Maybe a loveseat. A big television. A quiet evening where nobody needs anything from me and nothing is demanding another payment.
That's the dream.
And honestly, it shouldn't feel like such an enormous dream.
I don't need to be rich to be happy. I've said that before, and I mean it. Give me my inexpensive clothes, a comfortable place to sleep, food in the refrigerator, and enough money to pay my bills without having to calculate every dollar three times.
I'd be perfectly content.
I'm tired of having to be resilient. Tired of having to improvise. Tired of every solution seeming to come with another problem attached.
I know life isn't guaranteed to be easy. I'm not expecting it to be. But sometimes I'd like to experience a little less difficulty just getting through an ordinary week.
I don't want the world.
I just want a corner of it where the world will leave me the fuck alone.
A little peace. That's all I'm asking.
— Boris Thuginski
Still standing. Still stubborn. Still hoping for an ordinary tomorrow.
Jerry's Marginalia
Some people dream of changing the world. Others just want the world to stop knocking on their door.
And honestly?
I think that's a perfectly reasonable request.
— Jerry “The Ankle-Biter” Silverhand
Department of Petty Affairs, Office of Unsolicited Commentary