Bonus Gremlin Risitas — Operation Bath Lord (Day 2 of 6) (cont)
House of Entropy · Domestic Sector · Post-Shift Incident Report
Opening Scene
Germlin returns home from Haus Morgenrot.
Status:
💀 Mentally flattened.
🦝 Physically present.
🧼 Soap Hydra active.
Researchers conclude:
The raccoon has survived another workday.
Phase I — The Inquiry
While traversing the House of Entropy, Germlin recalls a previous transmission.
Earlier, Bath Lord allegedly communicated:
"I'm done with the bath."
Time passes.
The bathroom remains occupied.
Researchers remain unable to determine whether Bath Lord measures time in minutes, hours, or geological eras.
💀
Phase II — Diplomatic Contact
Germlin approaches.
Question issued:
"I thought you were done with the bath?"
Bath Lord responds immediately.
Response:
"I told you I was done some time ago."
"I'm sorry that you don't listen."
💀
Atmospheric pressure increases.
Several nearby walls consider filing incident reports.
Phase III — The Response
Internal Germlin:
"Brother, I have survived Haus Morgenrot."
"I have survived Herr Nörgelmann."
"I have survived the Ten-Cent Economist."
"I have survived the Liquid Soap Hydra."
"I am not doing this tonight."
💀
External Germlin:
"Well thank you."
🦝
Diplomatic relations collapse immediately.
Phase IV — Strategic Middle Finger Deployment
Following the exchange, Germlin adopts a new operational policy.
Every time Bath Lord's room is crossed:
🖕
Every time Bath Lord's room enters visual range:
🖕
Every time random frustration from the day resurfaces:
🖕
Researchers classify this as:
Passive-Aggressive Raccoon Warfare
💀
Phase V — Scientific Findings
Independent review concludes:
The argument was not actually about the bath.
Nor was it about the soap.
Nor was it about the wine.
Nor was it about the dishes.
The argument was about accumulated nonsense reaching critical mass.
💀
Final Doctrine
"The bath was not the problem.
The soap was not the problem.
The wine was not the problem.
The comment was not the problem.
The problem was that the raccoon had already spent the entire day carrying everybody else's nonsense."
"The bath merely arrived at the wrong time."
💀🦝
Official Threat Assessment
🚿 Bath Lord — Soaking
🧼 Liquid Soap Hydra — Feeding
🖕 Strategic Middle Finger — Deployed
🏠 House of Entropy — Operational
🦝 Germlin — Exhausted
💀
Filed By:
Jerry "The Ankle-Biter" Silverhand 🦝
Acting Director of Domestic Diplomacy Failure
Assistant Commissioner of Soap Hydra Affairs
House of Entropy Archives
Official Motto
"Stop carrying people who keep handing you their weight."
🦝
Emergency Motto
"Well thank you."
💀
Closing Statement
"The raccoon survived Haus Morgenrot.
The raccoon survived Herr Nörgelmann.
The raccoon survived another day of entropy.
Bath Lord survived the encounter.
Diplomatic relations did not."
💀🦝📋🖕🚿
STAMPED AND ARCHIVED