Book of Boris — Chapter XLV-B: The Kennel Paradox

24 Oct, 2025

Verse 1

They said (family), “How would you feel being locked up?” I didn’t answer. But in my head, I thought — “I already am.” The cage just looks different when it’s built from rent, bills, and other people’s noise.

Verse 2

My dog eats, drinks, sleeps, and waits for the door to open. So do I. Difference is, when I step out, I’m the one paying for the lock.

Verse 3

They call it care when they meddle, but call it neglect when I’m managing peace. Funny how freedom’s definition shifts depending on who’s holding the leash.

Afterword

• Look, I appreciate the sympathy — truly. But stay in your lane. Step out, and you’re liable to catch a Cat-5 hurricane.

• I’ll drop to my knees, pray you make it through, then pop up with a “sup.” nothing happened.

• Consider this your weather report — courtesy of the Dept. of Petty Affairs.

— Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand · Tribunal Chair & Frontline Negotiator, Dept. of Petty Affairs

Doctrine: Don’t bark — bill.

#BookOfBoris #BrokeDoctrine #FunctionAndChill #KennelParadox #FurnaceDiscipline #JerryReforged