Book of Boris — Polite Firewall Doctrine: The Golf Club Playbook
People don’t deserve my anger. They deserve my absurdity to their nonsense.
That’s the upgrade. The firewall doesn’t just block—it swings back with chaos so sharp, it makes the noise choke on its own echo.
The Golf Club Playbook (Phase 5 Absurdity)
- The Classic Ballcap
“You keep pressing, I’ll put my balls on top of your head.”
- The Sock Puppet Summon
“One more word and I’m pulling out Gary and Carl. And trust me—you don’t want them to start arguing about you.”
- The Predator Shake
“Push again and we’re doing the Arnold handshake right here, right now. Full flex. No shirts.”
- The Raccoon Threat
“Keep it up and I’ll dig through your trash for secrets.”
- The Final Curtain
“You press again, I end this conversation with interpretive dance. Don’t test me.”
🐾 Mrs. Catford:
“Absurdity over anger. Elegant. Efficient. Effective.”
🐾 Mr. Catford:
“Still hungry, but I like it.”
🤡 The Clown:
“BAHAHA! They wanted rage and got theater instead! They can’t fight a circus!”
That’s the Golf Club Playbook. Not anger. Not submission. Just absurdity swinging through the noise.
#BookOfBoris #PoliteFirewall #GolfClubPlaybook #Unferddled #GremlinRisitas