Boris Thuginski, The Unpatched Error — Bestiary Slip
Boris, if he was an Elden Ring boss...
Arena: Half-rendered colosseum, where the lights stutter and the announcer’s voice lags like a broken record.
Theme: Correction, not conquest.
Primary Mechanics:
The Do Your Job Slam: One-sentence shockwaves. Hesitate — get staggered. Keep moving and you'll survive.
The Quiet Snap: Nullifies buffs upon impact and silences players for a heartbeat; the battlefield inhales his attack going black and white.
The Side-Eye Mark: Targeted pressure that punishes panic or hesitation — the more you flail, the worser it gets.
The Tickle Dungeon Rift: A cruel, ridiculous gag, used by him to hit players who try to cheese the fight, only to get yanked into a loop of forced laughter and toxic positivity before being spat back out. Will OHKO a player, or close enough to death.
- How to Beat: Stop treating it like a damage race. Learn the rhythm; accept the correction; and move like you mean it. Correction only comes to those who desire to be praised instead of winners who come in and accept the fight's mechanics and conquer it.
- Additional Note: Not a monster for slaughter, per say; a test, only if you stop begging for applause.
Verse — The Tired Gatekeeper
I am done saving the careless. I carry receipts now, not saints. You shout for praise — I hand you a checklist. You cry for rescue — I show you the exit. This isn’t mercy. This is maintenance. Hyuk. Keep your noise. I keep my silence.