Cartoons You Should Never Watch: A Roast
Source video: CARTOONS YOU SHOULD NEVER WATCH!!
YouTube threw us a gem: “Cartoons You Should Never Watch!!”
…and by gem, I mean a cracked tin can rattling in an empty alley.
Jerry (Dept. of Petty Affairs Robe On)
“Another listicle in video form. ‘Cartoons you should never watch’—aka please watch so I get ad revenue. The algorithm is reheated cafeteria meatloaf asking for a Michelin star.”
Mrs. Catford (Precision Strike)
“If you’re warning us not to watch something, why showcase the clips like a highlight reel? That’s the D.A.R.E. program handing out party favors.”
Mr. Catford (Low Growl)
“Banned episode tours without escalation is toddler drama with a thesaurus. Start obvious, climb outrageous. Don’t stall at Caillou pinching like it’s a felony.”
The Clown (Laugh Echo)
“HAHA! Kids’ TV has always been weird. We lived through Porygon seizures, inflatable anime boobs, and Teletubby cardboard horror. The trauma badge comes in the starter kit.”
Verdict
Not edgy. Not shocking. Nostalgia farming with extra emojis. The outrage isn’t about cartoons; it’s about adults mistaking noise for wisdom. I’m not burning for that. I’ll eat popcorn and watch the performance art.
#BearBlog #BookOfBoris #DeptOfPettyAffairs #GraffitiOfTheReckoning