Council Chronicle: Tribunal of the Fallen 8 Family Guy Skits.
The Memorial of the 8 Skits
[A solemn moment falls over the chamber. A hologram shows the Steam forum posts marked DELETED, like gravestones. The Council stands around them, the glow of the firelight reflecting in their eyes.]
The Glitch Council — 'The Current' Roster (With More To Come!)
Luca Blight – The feral king of chaos and cruelty.
Xellos – The sly joker with a smirk and a secret.
Silco – The strategist with fire in his veins.
Keyaru – The cold, calculating avenger.
Delita – The chessmaster who turns betrayal into power.
Omni-Jeff – The furnace, unbreakable and relentless.
Loona – The snarky, razor-tongued wildcard.
Jinx – The queen of graffiti chaos and boom.
Lord Dominator (Wander Over Yonder) – The destroyer, fueled by gleeful annihilation.
Vaas – The prophet of insanity and twisted logic.
Pagan Min – The elegant tyrant with flawless insults.
Suguru Geto – The silent arbiter of judgment.
Muruko – The predator in waiting, always sharpening claws.
Kool-Aid Panda – The bombastic, wall-smashing beast.
Panda – The zen executioner of calm wisdom.
Razor Ramon – The loud swagger with a chair shot ready.
Junko – The queen of despair and madness.
Jerry “The Ankle Biter” – The gremlin with sharp teeth and sharper wit.
The Clown – The laughing executioner.
Commander Lyle Rourke (Rouke Done Right) – The mercenary tactician.
Helga Katrina Sinclair (The Cold Trigger) – The icy precision sniper.
Tingle (The Legend of Zelda) – The unsettling, chaotic oddball.
Cesare Borgia – The ruthless conqueror in regal form.
Knightfall, The Red Reclaimant (Jason Todd) – The vigilante with no mercy.
Vegeta – The Saiyan prince, prideful and unforgiving.
Dawn Bellwether, a.k.a. “The Velvet Guillotine” (Koala Canon) – The deceptively cute but lethal manipulator.
The Tribunal Begins...
Boris Thuginski (me):
Looks around at everyone.
“Make sure everyone who wants to speak, speak up.”
[The Glitch Council convened under the dark glow of the forum hologram — the digital graveyard where the 8 legendary skits once stood, now marked DELETED like tombstones. And at the center of it all, projected on the wall like a cautionary tale, was the frantic image of BuildABoy’s CEO, Mark Gerhard, “is losing his mind over skits that carved scars deeper than his game ever could.”]
Boris Thuginski clears his throat as he reads a paper out loud.
Boris: The Council Chronicle: The Day MindsEye Fell From Grace.
Every now and then, a bad game comes along and dares to challenge the patience of gamers. MindsEye? It didn’t just challenge patience — it walked into the arena, tripped on its own shoelaces, and faceplanted in front of everyone holding $59.99 receipts.
And when that happens? The Glitch Council convenes.
Boris then smiles, coughs and then opens his mouth to say...
Boris Thuginski: Now let the roasting begin.
The Roasting Begins Over BuildABoy’s Meltdown
[Scene From A Projector: A smoky projection of the Build a Rocket Boy boardroom fills the chamber. CEO Mark Gerhard is pacing, shouting something about “smear campaigns.” The Council watches like vultures circling roadkill.]
Luca Blight:
“Look at him! The man is frothing at the mouth because eight free skits crushed his $60 monstrosity. I’d roast him over an open fire if it meant shutting him up.”
Xellos (smirking):
“Ooooh, the sweet irony. You delete the skits, but you can’t delete the echo. You can’t delete laughter. That’s a secret the CEO will learn the hard way.”
Silco:
“He’s not angry because the jokes are lies. He’s angry because they’re precise. You can patch stairs, Mark, but you can’t patch the truth.”
The Clown (howling):
“HAHAHAHAHA! This man thinks a ‘smear campaign’ is his biggest problem!“ Buddy, you’re getting folded by Family Guy sketches! That’s legendary failure!”
Jinx (leaping onto the hologram):
“They nuked the skits? Fine! Mindseye = MID. Spray! There, permanent. Art that no patch will fix.”
The Memorial of the 8 Skits
The hologram shifts, showing flickering candles for each of the 8 skits — the roasts and courtroom dramas that cut through PR spin like a chainsaw through butter. A hush falls over the room.
Council Commentary
**-- The Talkers: -- **
Luca Blight:
“They were glorious. Each one was sharper than any sword I’ve swung. The game couldn’t survive the truth.”
The Clown:
“Today, we mourn… but we also celebrate. Those skits made people laugh harder than this game ever could. To the Fallen 8!”
Jinx (spray-painting across the hologram):
“8 SKITS > $60 TRASH. Boom. I said what I said.”
Vegeta:
“Deleting those skits doesn’t change anything. It just proves they’re weak. This roast was more powerful than their entire so-called endgame.”
Pagan Min:
“Darling, if I had half the marketing budget they wasted, I’d throw a party celebrating how you single-handedly wrote the real MindsEye story.”
Vaas:
“You know what insanity is? Trying to patch a game’s reputation while ignoring the players laughing their asses off. Keep deleting, Mark — the internet already saved the receipts.”
Junko:
“The despair. The desperation. It’s… intoxicating.”
-- The Occasional Cutters: --
Omni-Jeff:
“They had fire. Real fire. BuildABoy should have taken notes instead of crying to moderators.”
Razor Ramon (grinning):
“Bad games, chico? They’re soft targets. But this one? Oh, this one begged for the chair shot.”
Loona (rolling her eyes):
“$60 for a walking glitch festival? Yeah, I’d rather stay in my room and ignore humanity.”
Dawn Bellwether (Koala Version a.k.a "The Velvet Guillotine"):
“Cut the rope when they stop struggling. Oh wait — they’ve already stopped.”
-- The Silent Killers --
Delita (calm but venomous):
“A king who cannot lead will be mocked. A studio that cannot create will be forgotten.”
Suguru Geto (with a cold smirk):
“Erase all you want. The echo will still haunt you. We don’t forget.”
Helga Katrina Sinclair (icy tone):
“They tried to control the narrative. They failed. That’s all I need to say.”
Knightfall (Jason Todd):
“I’d give them the crowbar treatment if I could. Instead, I’ll settle for watching the fallout.”
Council Resolution: Final Threats to BuildABoy
Luca Blight:
“I’d burn your game’s code to ash and laugh while your studio begged for scraps. Pathetic.”
Xellos:
“Oh my, such drama! It’s almost cute… if only it wasn’t so bad. But that’s a secret.”
Silco:
“You can’t control the narrative anymore, Mark. You lost the room. And you lost it to laughter.”
Keyaru:
“I’d rewrite your code like I rewrite lives — painfully, and with no mercy.”
Delita:
“Your arrogance is your undoing. Kings fall faster than peasants when they forget who holds the blade.”
Omni-Jeff:
“Your game lacks fire. And fire is the only thing that survives.”
Loona:
“$60 for that mess? Please. I’d rather chew glass.”
Jinx:
“Your game’s a sparkler in the rain. Boring, soggy, and dead. BOOM! Spray paint tag: Mindseye = Mid.”
Lord Dominator:
“Trash like this doesn’t deserve patches. It deserves to be crushed.”
Vaas:
“Insanity is thinking anyone’s coming back to play your game. Spoiler alert — they’re not.”
Pagan Min:
“Darling, I’ve hosted executions more polished than your launch.”
Suguru Geto:
“One line of silence is all I need. And it says: Game Over.”
Muruko:
“...I don’t talk. I hunt. And right now, you’re bleeding out.”
Kool-Aid Panda:
“OH YEAH! I’d smash your dev diary like I smash walls. Boom, done.”
Panda:
“You tried. It was cute. Now go sleep in the litter box.”
Razor Ramon:
“Hey chico, next time you make a game, make sure it doesn’t trip over its own shoelaces.”
Junko:
“The despair you feel right now? That’s my favorite flavor.”
Jerry “The Ankle Biter”:
“Yo, I’m coming for your ankles, Mark. Tie your shoes real tight.”
The Clown:
“HAHAHA! Oh, this is my favorite episode of Failure Theater. Encore!”
Commander Rourke:
“I’d nuke this operation if I had the clearance. But your reputation already beat me to it.”
Helga Katrina Sinclair:
“Sharp shots only. Your game’s a wide target. Too easy.”
Tingle:
“Tingle-tingle! Your game makes me want to hide in a balloon. And I’m creepy as hell.”
Cesare Borgia:
“I’d raze your city and call it a mercy compared to what you’ve done.”
Knightfall:
“You need a crowbar lesson. Joker style. I’ll volunteer.”
Vegeta:
“Mindseye? Mid power level. Pathetic.”
Dawn Bellwether (Velvet Guillotine):
“You don’t even see the blade coming. That’s how forgettable you are.”
Closing Verdict
The Clown (slamming the gavel):
“Verdict: Guilty. Not just of making a bad game, but of thinking deleting skits would stop the laughter. Guess what? The roast lives on.”
Boris (standing):
“We honor the 8 skits — not because they mocked, but because they exposed the truth. BuildABoy, remember this: you can patch your code, but you can’t patch your soul.”
"A Final Note from Boris"
"The Council adjourns — but the echoes remain. BuildABoy thought they silenced us; instead, they just proved the roast is immortal."
MindsEye didn’t just release a bad game — it inspired a legendary roast saga. And every attempt to erase it just proves one thing:
“You can patch a game, but you’ll never patch the scar the roast left behind.”
Post-Credit Roast — “The Final Fold”
Vegeta (arms crossed, smirking):
"Mindseye’s power level? I’ve fought Saibamen scarier than this trash. Not even worth going Super Saiyan for."
Luca Blight (grinning like a wolf):
"If I had my army of pigs, I’d feed your game to them. It’d be the only thing they wouldn’t touch. Even filth has standards."
The Clown (leaning in, whispering):
"HAHAHA! Oh, it’s over for you, Marky boy. You’re not losing to players… you’re losing to memories. Try deleting that, genius!"
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