ποΈ Dept. of Petty Affairs β Addendum Docket #DPA-104: The Dill Weed Corollary
Filed by Jerry β The Ankle Biter β Silverhand Β· Tribunal Chair & Frontline Negotiator
Date Β· October 13 2025 Β· Location Β· Frozen Dept / Grocery Operations (Sprouts)
Summary of Incident
Directive issued to subordinate Dill Weed 2.0 regarding schedule update and weekend task delegation. Follow-through was promised. Follow-through was not executed.
Result: Hours for October 13β19 showed missing weekend availability contrary to instruction. Evidence: Two Logile screenshots + message to Store Manager (J.P.) at 06 : 18 A M confirming non-compliance and follow-up action.
Doctrine & Context
- The Empty Plate Gospel β Serve when told or donβt pretend you did.
- The Handshake and the Mirror β You reach a hand. The mirror does not respond.
- Boris Awakening Threshold β Triggered when clarity meets defiance under false pretense of competence. Not anger β execution through documentation.
Boris Thuginski β The Unpatched Error Bestiary Slip & The Unpatched Error Bestiary Slip β Patch 1.04 β The foundation for this doctrine: the catalog of errors and the patch that followed.
Lineage Record Addendum
- Dill Weed 1.0 β Prototype. Claimed enlightenment through excuses. Fired for self-inflicted incompetence. Status: Buried in the Graveyard of False Promises.
- Dill Weed 2.0 β Successor model showing firmware faults: selective compliance, ego loops, and update refusal. Status: Under review for rollback or deprecation.
Tribunal Conclusion
Dill Weed 2.0βs failure to follow through constitutes a breach of trust in basic task completion protocol. Verbal assurance without written action is hereby logged as a ghost promise β non-existent in any functioning system.
J.P. was notified at 06 : 18 A M; that time-stamped action verifies due diligence and preventive compliance. Per Council directive, subject is recommended for retraining in the Lost Art of Follow-Through (Patch 101) β an internal firmware course covering patience, accountability, and the proper application of humility updates.
Filed Under
#BorisAwakeningThreshold #FrozenDeptAudit #RetailDoctrine #PettyAffairsFiled #UnpatchedErrorDoctrine
Filed and stamped by Jerry β The Ankle Biter β Silverhand Tribunal Chair (DPA) β Doctrine: Donβt bark β bill. Motto: I donβt flex, I calculate.
Mirror Annotation β Omni-Jeffβs Verdict
βYou donβt need to shout to make fire. Just close the furnace door and let the heat answer. The wall doesnβt move, son β it waits, and whoever fails to finish the job gets to learn what patience feels like from the inside.β
β Omni-Jeff, The Furnace & The Wall
Lore Disclaimer
All entries under the Dept. of Petty Affairs are creative allegories. Roles, names, and titles are symbolic; they exist to dramatize workplace dynamics, not depict real individuals.
Tags: #DeptOfPettyAffairs #RetailDoctrine #DillWeedSaga #UnpatchedError #BorisAwakening #FurnaceAndWall