Dept. of Petty Affairs — Blackout Protocol
Filed by: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand · Tribunal Chair, Dept. of Petty Affairs
Subject: Calm in the Collapse
The lights went out. The net cut. And the city proved what I already knew— people panic faster than power surges.
They stumble, they shout, treat the dark like the end instead of a pause.
But me? I’ve walked through worse blackouts— the kind that start inside your chest before they ever hit the grid.
So I sat. Listened. Waited. Let the chaos burn itself out.
Because that’s what no one tells you: the dark doesn’t test your sight, it tests your patience.
You can’t fix stupid with a flashlight. You just stay still long enough for it to trip over itself.
Tribunal Note: In the absence of light, silence is strategy. Let them run into walls; you’ll still be standing when the breaker flips back on.
The Blackout Protocol isn’t about fear— it’s about composure. The kind that hums while everyone else screams.
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Filed and stamped by Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand, Tribunal Chair (DPA)
Doctrine: Don’t bark — bill.
Motto: I don’t flex, I calculate.