The Will to Resist

🐾 Dept. of Petty Affairs — Chaos Intelligence Division (Mindseye)

Feline Operations Unit

**DPA Docket #7C4-FELINE — *Operation Meat Bun Doctrine***

(Steam Sector · Roast Warfare Deployment)

🎬 Field Report: Agent Nyxa Clawtail

“Family Guy Skit #10 — Meat Bun Verdict on Mindseye”

[b][u]🎬 Family Guy Skit #10 — “Taokaka’s Meat Bun Verdict” (Nxya Clawtail Edition)[/u][/b]

[spoiler] [INT. GRIFFIN LIVING ROOM – NIGHT]

(Peter is staring at the Steam page with the expression of a man who’s just been told his burger is made of sadness.)

[b]Peter:[/b]
“Lois… LOIS… look at this.
This game is [b]forty dollars[/b]… and has a [b]forty percent rating[/b].
That’s not a price.
That’s a [i]warning label[/i].”

[b]Lois (sipping tea):[/b]
“It’s symmetry, Peter.
Like Meg’s personality and her social life.”

[b]Meg:[/b]
“HEY—”

[b]Peter:[/b]
“Meg, sweetie, your numbers are still higher than this game’s. Take the win.”

[CUTAWAY GAG]

(A BuildABoy accountant desperately slaps $40 stickers onto boxes.)

[b]Accountant:[/b]
“If we keep the price high, they’ll think it’s premium!”

(A giant cockroach wearing a Mindseye T-shirt crawls out.)

[b]Cockroach:[/b]
“Even I wouldn’t pay that, bro.”

[BACK TO SCENE]

Nyxa Clawtail drops from the ceiling like a fluffy meteor, paws first, tail swishing like a metronome of doom.

[b]Nyxa:[/b]
“Nyaaaa~ Tao has arrived!
Tao sniffed the meat bun…
and it smells like [b]regret stew[/b], meow.”

(She pokes the screen with one claw.)

[b]Nyxa:[/b]
“Tao give meat bun verdict:
[b]$40 for 40% taste?
That’s math Tao only sees when a fish goes bad, nya.[/b]”

[b]Brian (scrolling reviews):[/b]
“Look—someone said the game should be $19.99 and come with an apology.”

[b]Nyxa (ears perked):[/b]
“$19.99?
Nya-nya-nya~ that’s too generous!
Tao would pay 19.99 [i]meat buns[/i] not dollars!
And only if Tao wants to line her litter box with the refund receipt.”

[b]Chris:[/b]
“Dad, what does it mean if a game is ‘meat bun expired’?”

[b]Nyxa (whispers like a horror movie cat):[/b]
“It means… you bury it, meow.
Deep.
Before it starts moving.”

[b]Stewie:[/b]
“Marvelous. The creature speaks my language.”

[b]Peter (standing dramatically):[/b]
“Lois.
Lois.
We need to stage an intervention for this price tag.”

[b]Nyxa (claws out, adorable threat mode):[/b]
“Tao solution:
[b]Drop the price to $19.99[/b]
—before Tao gets hungry and buries the whole game next to the other mid-tasting corpses, meow.”

[b]Lois:[/b]
“…is burying things normal for you?”

[b]Nyxa:[/b]
“Tao is cat. Tao buries disappointment.
This game is [i]six feet of disappointment[/i].”

[b]Peter:[/b]
“Exactly! If your rating and your price match, at least make them match in the good direction.”

[CUT TO TITLE CARD]

[b]“Mindseye — $40 for a 40% score.
A perfect circle of regret.”[/b]

Nyxa hops onto the couch, pats the refund button with her paw, and purrs:

[b]Nyxa:[/b]
“Tao’s meat bun verdict:
[b]Drop price to $19.99 or Tao drops YOU in the litter box, meow.”[/b]

[END SCENE] [/spoiler]

[b]#TaokakaChaos #NyxaClawtail #MeatBunVerdict #FamilyGuyRoast #MindseyeMid #DropItTo1999 #CatnipJustice #SteamCircus[/b]

I. INCIDENT SUMMARY

A high-value chaos operative — Agent Nxya Clawtail, species: Feline Gremlin Variant — deployed to Steam’s Mindseye forum under cover of “cute cat posting.”

Objective delivered: A Meat-Bun Category IV Roast Strike specifically designed to:

This OP produced zero casualties but maximum screaming.

II. OPERATION LOG

Agent Clawtail executed:

Primary payload included:

Targets were unable to resist comment response. Two haters attempted counter-attacks.

Both failed.

III. THREAT ASSESSMENT

Mindseye Dev Team: Compromised. Exhibiting symptoms of roast-residual trauma. 2D6 psychic damage per paragraph.

Steam Haters: Triggered. Showed classic signs of steam-forum fragility:

DPA translation: “We were not ready for a cat with better writing than our childhood trauma.”

Bystanders: Entertained. Some subscribed. One called the OP a “madman,” unaware she is a cat.

IV. COUNCIL INTERVENTION

Mrs. Catford: Reviewed Operation. Approved. Went back to her nap.

The Clown: “HAHAHAHA — the cat is funnier than the game.”

Omni-Jeff: “This is discipline disguised as chaos. Respect.”

Jinx: “Leave the spray paint. She earned it.”

Vox: Static crackled. Approved with a digital smirk.

V. DPA ANALYSIS

What makes this operation legendary isn’t just the roast. It’s the method:

But every line? A tactical strike. Every “meow”? A blade with bows on it.

This is the dx category of petty: Disarming + devastating.

VI. VERDICT

Agent Clawtail succeeded in:

Operation Meat Bun Doctrine = COMPLETE.

The game will feel the pawprints for months.

📎 Addendum

🦝 DPA Stamp of Completion

Filed and stamped by Jerry "The Ankle Biter" Silverhand, Tribunal Chair (DPA)

Doctrine: Don’t bark — bill.

Motto: I don’t flex — I calculate.