🗃️ Dept. of Petty Affairs — Confirmed Kill Docket #149
Case File: “Lucky You.”
Filed by: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand · Tribunal Chair
Status: Executed and Sealed
Classification: Comment Section Fossil Exhibit
Filed Under: The Directional Clause — We Don’t Punch Down; We Punch Through Ego.
Incident Summary
After a nine-year stretch of digital silence, a lone commenter emerged from the sediment of time to whisper:
“Lucky you.”
The Dept. of Petty Affairs hereby classifies this as a Temporal Echo of Irrelevance — the kind that thinks it’s haunting you, but really just tripped over your legacy.
📎 Exhibit A: I Get This Call Every Day – Goose Who Games (itch.io) 🔖 Filed under Audible Irony — where customer service meets divine service.
Verdict
Noise pretending to be depth. The offender has been politely escorted back to the waiting room of history.
Official Reply (Approved for Public Deployment)
“Nine years later and you still heard the phone ring? Guess I really did my job right — the call reached your conscience on delay. Welcome to the queue, sweetheart. Hold music’s still fire. 🎧”
Addendum — Mr. Catford’s Hold Please Doctrine
“We’ll be with you shortly — after you finish processing the last nine years of silence. Please remain on the line; your irrelevance is very important to us.”
Filed under The Iron Board Doctrine — ‘If you want to be ironed, we use steam mode.’
Final Stamp
Result: Confirmed Kill — Category “Delayed Echo.”
Impact Radius: One comment thread plus lingering embarrassment in perpetuity.
Filed By: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand · Dept. of Petty Affairs · Glitch Council Liaison
Witnessed By: Mr. Catford · PR and Optics Division
☕ Seal of Resonance — Applied:
May every delayed echo be met with jazz, judgment, and just enough reverb to make it sting.