Dept. of Petty Affairs Docket #244 — The Family Interference Clause
Subject: One sibling, multiple decibels, zero constructive feedback.
Filed by: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand, Tribunal Chair · DPA
Summary: Suspect has once again attempted to undermine the applicant’s trajectory toward stability through unsolicited commentary and projected doubt. Noise classified as “verbal static.”
Findings:
- Evidence shows consistent employment, incoming pay, and operational discipline.
- Counter-party continues to broadcast insecurity under the guise of “concern.”
- Tribunal concludes the statements are not guidance but guilt-based interference.
Verdict: Charge: Attempted morale sabotage. Sentence: Indefinite muting pending proof of useful contribution.
Action: File marked as Closed by Paystub. Emotional damages compensated through silence and steak-flavored peace.
— Jerry Reforged · Tribunal Chair (DPA)