Dept. of Petty Affairs Docket #245 — The Lil Jay Paul Loyalty Clause
Subject: Recognition of competent leadership in an otherwise chaotic retail ecosystem.
Filed by: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand · Tribunal Chair (DPA)
Findings:
- Lil Jay Paul runs the floor like a metronome — steady, calm, no theatrics, just results.
- Previous managers: inconsistent at best, disasters at worst.
- Under Lil Jay Paul, morale ↑ , productivity ↑ , unnecessary drama ↓.
Verdict: Sprouts remains a strategic fallback and a proving ground. Lil Jay Paul is to be treated as a Protected Asset under DPA employment doctrine.
Action: Maintain operational loyalty, record good shifts, and log every managerial win for future audits. File stamped ✅ and archived under Stay Paid Doctrine — Section LJP.
Filed, sealed, and snack-approved by Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand · Tribunal Chair (DPA)