🎬 Dept. of Petty Affairs Docket #R-451 — “The Bronze and the Furious”
Filed under: The Directional Clause // Confirmed Kills Archive
Format: Family Guy Cutaway Reenactment
Peter (voice-over):
“Yeah, that’s like those guys who get mad at the anti-cheat for working.”
Cutaway →
A cramped gamer basement glowing in RGB regret.
Gamer #1: “Dude, the AI banned me again! It’s jealous of my skill!”
Gamer #2: “Yeah, bro, you were born different!”
Computer: [flat] “You were born bronze.”
Gamer #1: throws headset “That’s harassment!”
Gamer #2: “Let’s cancel it on Twitter!”
Computer: “Tweet composed: ‘I’m bad and I’m mad.’ Send?”
Cut back to Peter on the couch, beer in hand.
Peter: “And that’s why Skynet never took over — it just muted everyone under Diamond.”
Filed and stamped by Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand, Tribunal Chair (DPA)
Doctrine: Don’t bark — bill.
Motto: I don’t flex, I calculate.