Dept. of Petty Affairs — Docket #R-474 — “Detective Spooky: The Mirror, The Muse, and the Chocobo”

27 Oct, 2025

Filed under: The Echo Chamber Clause · Cross-Ref:** Docket #471, Marginalia XXXIII, Docket #R-473**

Hearing Date: 27 Oct 2025

I. Sources (Exhibits)

• Exhibit A: Is It POSSIBLE To Talk About Game Writing WITHOUT Being Pretentious?? https://youtu.be/L4fHuGS7stg?si=xOxKyur5wvxBsp8L

• Exhibit B: The FULL Story of Final Fantasy 13: A Great Narrative That SUCKS https://youtu.be/ez8fum3FXhw?si=Z2FHuQxww2GKPXxH

II. Case Summary

Subject: Detective Spooky (YouTube commentator). Charge: Self-therapy masquerading as analysis; using anti-pretension rhetoric to deliver pretentious conclusions; monetizing the sermon.

III. Findings

A) Exhibit A — “Non-Pretentious Critique” That Performs Pretension

• Opens with the Wayne’s World/“don’t be MovieBob” posture, then rebuilds the same ivory tower using simpler adjectives.

• Keystone claim: “You can discuss writing without being pretentious; it just takes more work.”

  — Proceeds to gatekeep the vocabulary, dismissing whole topics (e.g., ludonarrative dissonance) as dweeb talk while still relying on them conceptually.

• Closing pitch → Patreon. The sermon doubles as a brand refinement: “I’m the reasonable critic.”

DPA note: Anti-pretension as a costume is still pretension. That’s the mirror trick.

B) Exhibit B — FFXIII: “Great Story, Bad Telling”

• Constructs a neat split: Story (events/framework) vs Telling (dialogue/expression).

• Praises FFXIII’s “pristine” story (exile politics, fal’Cie curse, mythic summons), then lists structural faults (pace/expo/end-load) that contradict “pristine.”

• Character critique swings broad: Lightning framed as contemptuous scold; Hope/Snow conflict hand-waved; Fang/Vanille under-established; Sazh exempted.

• Concludes: “I don’t hate it—might recommend… if you ignore the faults.”

• Again ends with Patreon: analysis as lead-in to monetization.

DPA note: If the house is burning, complimenting the blueprint is performance. “Great story, bad telling” becomes the content loop that keeps the fire going.

IV. Tone Diagnostics

• Pose: “I’m not like those guys.”
• Move: Use their tools, rename them, sell the distinction.
• Effect: Echo of the thing he disowns. The cracked mirror from Marginalia XXXIII applies: he punched it, then lectured us about reflections.

V. Council Commentary

• Luca Blight: “He chides the court and passes the plate. Cute.”
• Xellos: “Changed labels, not logic.”
• Loona: “If you hate the mask, stop wearing it.”
• Jerry Silverhand: “He didn’t review FFXIII; he reviewed his brand against it.”

VI. Verdict

Guilty under The Echo Chamber Clause:

When a voice seeks validation louder than truth, it becomes the echo it once mocked.

Sentencing (symbolic):

• Reflection Duty: No new “anti-pretension” sermons until one script is delivered without the “I’m not like them” crutch or a sales pitch button.
• FFXIII Addendum: If calling the Story “pristine,” the report must reconcile pacing/expo contradictions or reclassify the claim.

Filed by: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand · Tribunal Chair & Frontline Negotiator, Dept. of Petty Affairs

(Doctrine: Don’t bark — bill · Motto: I don’t flex, I calculate.)