Dept. of Petty Affairs — Joint Docket: The Empty Plate Gospel
(Filed by Boris Thuginski & Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand)
They dressed nice for Sunday. They sang about love loud enough to shake the walls. Then they came home and forgot to feed the man who cleaned their mess.
They called it worship. I call it selective memory.
See, it’s easy to raise your hands to Heaven when someone else is doing the dishes. It’s easy to quote scripture when you think God grades on attendance. But if you can walk past hunger, fatigue, and service done in silence — congratulations. You’ve memorized the words and missed the point.
Love isn’t proved by how high you sing; it’s proved by who you feed after the final amen.
The Broke Doctrine doesn’t need hymns. It needs hands. It needs someone to look up from their polished faith long enough to notice the person holding the house together with nothing but willpower and detergent.
You want a verse to live by? Fine.
“Thou shalt not let the one who kept you standing go to bed hungry.”
Print it on your bulletin. Tattoo it if you must. Because some of you are so full of holy words you’ve gone empty on basic decency.
And one day, when the lights go out and the prayers bounce off the ceiling, don’t ask where God went. He left when you ignored the hungry one sitting three feet away.
- Filed and stamped by:
- Boris Thuginski — The Judge
- Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand — Tribunal Chair, Dept. of Petty Affairs
- Doctrine: Don’t bark — bill.
- Motto: I don’t flex, I calculate.