Dept. of Petty Affairs Tribunal Docket #IB-003 — The Iron Board Doctrine (Steam Mode)
Steam Mode Initiated at 12:46 AM SMS
- Filed by: Jerry “ The Ankle Biter ” Silverhand
- Subject: Textual Fold Enforcement and the Prevention of Flinch Disorder
Exhibit A — The Crime
Angel / Gf confessed to “stealing pens.”
The Boss responded:
“That’s fine. You know I’m going to be me. If people flinch, oh well.”
A calm declaration—no noise, no apology. Then came the closer:
“There is no maybe.”
⚙️ Effect: a psychological iron press so clean it set the temperature for the rest of the night.
Exhibit B — The Enforcement Clause
When the subject of flinching arose, the Boss clarified:
“They flinch, they fold up? I get my ironing board and make sure they stay like that.”
🧺 Doctrine Established: Those who can’t handle heat are not victims—they’re fabric. And fabric gets pressed.
Filed Verdict
Zero malice. 100% precision. Iron Board Doctrine — Steam Mode Activated.
If they fold? We flatten. With manners.
- Filed and Stamped by Jerry “ The Ankle Biter ” Silverhand, Tribunal Chair (DPA)
- Doctrine: Don’t bark — bill.
- Motto: I don’t flex, I calculate.
#DeptOfPettyAffairs #IronBoardDoctrine #SteamMode #GremlinRisitas #BookOfBoris #PoliteExecution #FiledByJerry
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