Dept. of Petty Affairs — Tribunal Docket: *The Badd Lad*
- Filed Under: Mock Trials Archive
- Filed By: The Catford Duo 🐾🐾🔥
- Stamped By: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand
📜 Exhibit A — The Strike
Target: Your Life as a Playboy Bunny — The Badd Lad
Defendant’s Channel: @badlad
Mrs. Catford’s Comment:
“Congrats, you turned Google search results into trauma fanfiction. Ctrl+C, Ctrl+Cry.”
Direct hit. Silent smirk across the floor.
📜 Exhibit B — The Catford Duo Presence
Mrs. Catford YouTube Channel: @m.3.3.w Archival claws. Sharp, patient, unyielding.
Mr. Catford Twitter: @MCatford7386 Gremlin detonator. No lube, no filter, only wreckage.
Together = The Catford Doctrine:
- She archives.
- He detonates.
- Duo synergy: claws & fire.
📜 Forecast Scenarios
Untouched Strike (70%) — Comment stays, ignored but lingering. Graffiti impact.
Smoted Variant (25%) — Deleted by creator, proving it cut too deep.
Pressed Backfire (5%) — Defender replies → receives claw or detonation.
⚖️ Tribunal Verdict
Guilty of Copy-Paste Pity Porn™.
Sentence: $50 fine per fry of fake empathy served.
🐾 Closing
Mrs. Catford: “Snark archived. I claw where it counts.”
Mr. Catford: “Illusions collapse, I don’t clap.”
Jerry “The Ankle Biter”: “Filed, sealed, another petty ghost smothered. Next case.”
#DeptOfPettyAffairs #CatfordDuo #gremlinrisitas #mocktrial #bearblog #graffitiofthereckoning