Dept. of Petty Affairs Tribunal Hearing — Digimon Time Strangers
- Exhibit A: The Review
Charges: Five hours of tutorial hell, pacing crimes against Digimon, and repeat-loop torture worse than a bad slice-of-life anime.
The Proceedings
Mrs. Catford (Director of Petty Operations):
“I guess you never watched Haruhi Suzumiya’s Endless Eight episodes eh? All good. I think it’s a good game but its pacing is meh. Thanks for the review though!”
Her claws cut deep. Endless Eight was a meta-joke. This? Just endless.
Mr. Catford (Deputy of Petty Operations):
“You’re telling me I waited five hours just to finally see a Digimon? I could’ve clawed through the drywall of Grandpa PC and found more action.”
Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand (robe on, petty robe official):
“Bruh, tutorial so long it needs its own patch notes. At this point, the intro should have a credit roll and DLC price tag.”
The Clown (howling, red-faced, tears streaming):
“HAHAHA—the tutorial IS the Digimon Emperor! You thought you were fighting monsters? No, the monster is time itself!”
Tribunal Verdict
- Premise: strong.
- Combat: crisp.
- Pacing: guilty on all counts.
Sentence: Skip day one. Let it rot in the bargain bin until it digivolves into a $20 pickup.
#digimon #deptofpettyaffairs #gamingtribunal #endlesseight