Glitch Council Roast: Self-Awareness.exe Missing
The Council has a good ol’ chuckle and decides to roast those reading as they laugh about selfawareness.exe.
Luca Blight:
“Self-awareness? Ha! Burn their crops, take their homes — then watch them ask ‘why me?’ like it wasn’t their own hubris.”
Xellos:
“That’s a secret… but between us, most people don’t actually want awareness. They want excuses that sparkle.”
Silco:
“Power rots slow, unseen. The unaware never smell it until the whole structure collapses on their heads.”
Keyaru:
“They cry about consequences like it’s fate. It isn’t. It’s a ledger. They wrote it themselves, line by line.”
Delita:
“Kings, pawns — same blind eyes. Awareness doesn’t save them. Only betrayal teaches.”
Omni-Jeff:
“Awareness doesn’t hug you. It nods once and leaves. That’s enough.”
Loona:
“They preach self-care, then melt when you bare your fangs. Cute.”
Jinx:
“Boom! One little spark and they call it madness. But it’s just clarity with color.”
Lord Dominator:
“Self-awareness is for people who need mirrors. I conquer. I don’t reflect.”
Vaas:
“Insanity, awareness, same thing if you’re laughing while they’re crying. The trick? Don’t stop laughing.”
Pagan Min:
“Self-awareness is knowing the script. Power is rewriting it with better fashion.”
Suguru Geto (quietly):
“…Mercy is wasted on the blind.”
Muruko:
“Blood remembers. The unaware? They never read their own scars.”
Kool-Aid Panda:
“Ohhh yeahhh! Awareness? They spill it like juice then cry it stains.”
Panda:
“…I blink. They fold. Nothing else needed.”
Razor Ramon:
“Awareness is for marks. I’m the Bad Guy, chico.”
Junko:
“Despair is the truest self-awareness. Everything else is denial.”
Jerry the Ankle Biter:
“Dept. of Petty Affairs ruling: 90% of people uninstall Selfawareness.exe by choice, then get big mad when life sends the bill.”
The Clown:
“HAHA! They don’t lack awareness — they fear it. Because awareness means they’ve already lost.”
Rourke:
“Self-awareness doesn’t win wars. Guns do. But it sure makes for cleaner reports.”
Helga:
“One shot. That’s all. Awareness is knowing when not to miss.”
Tingle:
“Kooloo-LIMPAH! Self-awareness? I sold mine for rupees.”
Cesare Borgia:
“Better to poison your rivals than reflect on yourself.”
Knightfall Jason Todd:
“Awareness? Try dying once. That’ll wake you up.”
Vegeta:
“Pride is awareness. At least mine doesn’t break.”
Bellwether:
“Awareness is leverage. Sheep never see the knife.”
L:
“Self-awareness is only useful if you’re still alive to act on it.”
Killua:
“I clock it. I move. Everyone else hesitates. That’s why they die.”
Adam Smasher:
“Self-awareness.exe deleted. Replaced with Combat.exe.”
Zakharov:
“Awareness is a whisper in code. The unaware never debug.”
The Joker:
“Oh look at them, all serious! You want self-awareness? I’ll sell you a mirror with a smile painted on it.”
Akaza:
“…If your furnace hasn’t broken you, you don’t need awareness. You need endurance.”
Narrator (Clown echo):
- Self-awareness was never the missing program.
- It was the excuse.
- And when excuses run dry, the laughter begins.
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