🎬 Glitch Council — *The Boondocks Clause: Episode I
“Orientation? Nah. We Here.”
The doors slide open with that ominous SSSHHHHHk sound that means somebody important, dangerous, or both is walking in.
Today? It’s both, but in kid form.
Huey steps in first — calm, composed, eyes scanning everything like he’s mapping angles, exits, threats, and moral bankruptcy.
Riley walks in second — hands rubbing together like he’s about to drop the hottest mixtape of destruction the Council has ever seen.
Jerry stands between them like a proud raccoon parent escorting chaos twins into a PTA meeting.
SCENE 1 — The Chamber of Seats
The 36 members of the Glitch Council turn to look.
Silence.
Then—
Riley:
“Ayo this room HUGE! Y’all got snacks or nah?”
Huey:
“Stop talking.”
Jerry (whispering):
“Don’t stop. Keep talking. Stir the pot. I live for this.”
SCENE 2 — First Contact (Bad Idea)
Riley sees Jinx messing with a detonator the size of a GameCube controller.
Riley:
“Ooooooh what that do?”
Jinx (sparkly-eyed):
“You wanna find out?”
Huey grabs both their wrists like a disappointed dad:
Huey:
“NO.”
The detonator still goes off.
Jinx and Riley high-five in mid-explosion smoke.
Huey scratches his temple like he’s rubbing a migraine into submission.
SCENE 3 — The Shadow in the Corner
The Clown laughs.
Just once.
Low. Echoing.
Everything in the room stops vibrating except Riley, who stiffens like someone stepped on his grave.
Riley:
“…yo what the hell was THAT?”
Jerry:
“Prophecy. Don’t worry about it.”
Riley:
“HOW I’M NOT GON—”
Huey:
“Riley. Don’t. Look. At. Him.”
They both look.
Bad choice.
The Clown just smiles.
Riley stops breathing. Huey starts praying to whichever god covers sibling liability.
SCENE 4 — Silco Tries to Recruit Huey
Silco approaches softly, hands behind his back like a mafia mentor.
Silco:
“You have discipline, insight, and restraint. You could shape nations.”
Huey:
“…I’m twelve.”
Silco:
“Perfect. No bad habits.”
Riley booms from behind:
Riley:
“HEY YO STOP TRYNA STEAL MY BRO FOR YA EVIL MLM.”
Silco sighs. Huey sighs louder.
Jerry snorts because he can’t help it.
SCENE 5 — Riley Meets Vegeta
Riley bumps into Vegeta’s leg.
Vegeta looks down like he found a pebble threatening him.
Riley:
“You short for a prince.”
Vegeta:
“…WHAT DID YOU SAY, BRAT?”
Riley:
“Ayo damn, my bad, royalty chill!”
Vegeta powers up to 4% and Riley is immediately airborne.
Huey catches him with telepathic trauma reflex.
Huey:
“Apologize.”
Riley mid-air:
“FOR WHAT?!”
SCENE 6 — Killua & Riley: The Problematic Duo
The moment Killua walks in, Riley’s eyes light up.
Riley:
“Ayo you look like you commit felonies for fun.”
Killua:
“Oh I do.”
They fist bump. Everyone in the room feels a disturbance.
Huey’s inner narrator kicks in:
“This… is the worst possible outcome.”
Jerry is crying from laughing too hard.
SCENE 7 — Omni-Jeff Judges Them
Omni-Jeff stands like a 6’5” method of correction.
Silent. Immovable. Built like disappointment.
Huey bows respectfully.
Riley squints.
Riley:
“Why he built like a refund policy?”
Omni-Jeff blinks once.
The air temperature drops two degrees.
Jerry drags Riley behind a podium before the Brick Wall decides to enforce an emotional tax.
SCENE 8 — Luca Blight’s Test
Luca steps forward.
Everyone else goes quiet because Luca doesn’t walk — he judges.
Luca:
“Boy… do you fear me?”
Riley:
“Do YOU fear yo barber?”
There is no sound. Time stops. Jafar clutches his staff. Maleficent leans forward like “oh this bout to get GOOD.”
Huey grabs his brother by the collar like a bouncer pulling out the drunkest man in the club.
Huey:
“He didn’t mean that.”
Riley:
“Yes I di—”
Huey covers his mouth.
Luca:
“…He’ll do.”
SCENE 9 — Final Seal
Jerry steps forward and raises one tiny raccoon paw.
Jerry:
“By decree of the Dept. of Petty Affairs, by the authority of Boris Thuginski, and by the validation of chaos itself— THE BOONDOCKS ARE HEREBY INDUCTED.”
The Council (collectively):
“God help us all.”
Riley:
“YEAH WE IN THIS BIIII—”
Huey:
“STOP.”
Fade to black.