GlitchOS: Internal Protocol Registry — System Log Entry #0021
YeetProtocol.exe
Filed by: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand — Dept. of Petty Affairs
Oversight: Mr. & Mrs. Catford (Director & Deputy of Petty Operations)
Observed by: The Clown — unhinged laughter, post-yeet
Trigger Conditions
- Detection of scam, grift, or hollow bait.
- Exposure to unsolicited theatrics (yes, including “prophecy in aisle 4” Walmart specials).
- Any attempt to waste the Operator’s time with fluff, delay, or emotional leashes.
Execution Sequence
1. Target Lock – Eyes narrow, ears tune out 90% of noise — scanning for the optimal cut-off line.
2. Verbal Payload – Deliver a single phrase or cryptic remark, loaded enough to linger:
“Time is ticking.” “I’ll pass… permanently.”
3. Yeet Initiation – Immediate disengagement — physical departure or mental erasure.
4. Echo Phase – Leave behind only confusion, unease, or a faint suspicion that their day just got shortened.
Post-Action Commentary
- Jerry: “They never see the teeth until they’re already limping.”
- Mrs. Catford: “Elegant. No claw marks. Just absence.”
- Mr. Catford: “Could’ve bitten harder, but the limp will do.”
- The Clown: [laughter escalating into tears] “They don’t even know they’ve been thrown off the ride!”
Debris Left Behind
None. Only the quiet sound of the Operator’s playlist resuming.