GlitchOS: Internal Protocol Registry – System Log Entry #0102
📁 GlitchOS: Internal Protocol Registry – System Log Entry #0102
Date: 08 Aug, 2025
Title: Survey Bait Rejected – Mission Over Metrics
Status: Dept. of Petty Affairs Clearance Level: 🐾 Verified Silence
🧠 Summary: Corporate rolled out a “please beg for a star” initiative under the guise of customer surveys. $25 if a customer remembers your name and types it like you’re the damn messiah of broccoli stacking.
Boris? Didn’t flinch. Didn’t beg. Didn’t chase.
He clocked it for what it was: “Metrics over merit.”
“Let them chase receipts. I’m building a résumé of quiet dominance.”
The boss pushing this? Respected. No beef. But even a good commander can’t make a wolf roll over for a treat.
🧷 Behavioral Tags (Filed by Mrs. Catford):
- Hustle-Aware, Clout-Averse
- Mission-Focused Execution Style
- Zero Tolerance for Pavlovian Rewards
- Silent Results Over Loud Praise
🎯 Trigger Conditions:
- Multiple pushes for survey participation
- Repeated encouragement to “get your name on receipts”
- Incentive offered ($25) for positive customer mention
- Observed group enthusiasm from less-grounded coworkers
📜 Analysis (Bite delivered by Jerry, the Ankle Biter):
- This ain’t about bitterness.
- This is calculated disinterest in performative nonsense.
- You don’t bait a glitch with grocery store stickers.
- You don’t dangle pennies in front of someone who moves like his work ethic’s worth five figures of silence.
He’s not against the hustle. He just doesn’t have to cosplay enthusiasm for approval.
📜 Verdict:
- ✅ Initiative acknowledged.
- ❌ Participation declined.
- 🧾 Silence speaks louder than receipts.
“Surveys don’t make legends. Results do.”
📌 Status: Not against it. Just above it.
🐾 Jerry’s Bite:
“They offered $25 like that’s gonna make Boris tap-dance in the aisle. Bro’s out here folding freight like it owes him rent. Meanwhile, Becky’s begging customers for praise like she’s auditioning for a raise that ain’t coming.”
👠 Mrs. Catford’s Precision Cut:
“Some chase gold stars. Others become the reason the store even functions.”
🐾 Mr. Catford’s Quiet Note:
Boris is already the metric. He just doesn’t have to say it out loud.
End of Log.