— Goodbye, Penguin0
Note: "For some reason my Gremlin brain thought it was 'this' Charlie, so I decided to have some dark humor for funises."
The screen flickers. White T-shirt. Deadpan face. No intro music, no edits. Just him.
"Well boys… looks like the algorithm finally patched me out."
No panic. No drama. Just a sip of LaCroix and that monotone calm that made the world laugh even when it didn’t want to.
When Penguin0 goes under, it’s not in fire or chaos—it’s in irony. Instead of blood, his loot drops scatter:
- One crusty exercise band.
- A binder of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards.
- A beard oil jar, untouched.
Chat floods with F’s. Stream delay makes the grief feel lagged, like the world itself buffering.
The funeral DLC unlocks a week later. Egghead streamers stumble in, moist clones gather, cardboard cutouts weep silently. The tribute reel is just 47 clips of “That’s insane” in different octaves.
And the gravestone? Nothing fancy. Just: “Cool but vile. Moist ’til the end.”
The secret ending? If you’ve 100%ed the run, his ghost voice leaks into every headset: "They buffed the shotgun again, boys. Unreal."
No outro. No fade. Just the lingering thought that even in death, Penguin0 stayed the same: Deadpan. Reluctantly legendary. And still somehow making everyone laugh in the dark.
(Relax—it’s a bit, not a eulogy. Jerry said it, so clutch your pearls but laugh while you’re at it.)
#BearBlog #PenguinZero #DarkHumor #GremlinCut #FinalUpload