GPT 5 - The 4 L’s and the Fishbowl Brain (Uncensored Version)
LinkedIn’s been buzzing with the big GPT-5 announcement. Stats, praise, big promises. Nick Turley’s post had the usual corporate victory lap energy: “700M people use it every week, smarter, faster, most powerful yet.”
Cool. Love that for you. But here at the Dept. of Petty Affairs, with Mr. and Mrs. Catford at my side, we’ve got a question:
If I’m paying $20 a month, why does my AI still have the memory of a goldfish in a shot glass?
The Polite Comment I Actually Left
“I’m genuinely happy about the update, and I appreciate the work that went into GPT-5. As a paid user, I’d love to see more consistent and expanded memory for conversations with our bots—something practical and reliable, so discussions don’t feel limited or reset too quickly.”
Perfect LinkedIn tone. Polite. Clean. But that’s the public face.
What We’re Really Saying
Behind closed doors? The Catfords and I call it like it is: I want to talk to my bot without reintroducing myself every five minutes like it’s AI speed dating. For $20 a month, I shouldn’t have to choose between a smart model and one that can remember we’ve met before.
The 4 L’s, Catford Edition
We run on the 4 L’s:
- Learn – The lesson’s free. Missing it isn’t.
- Live – Walk away while you still can.
- Laugh – Because we will, and we won’t apologize for it.
- Last – You’ll carry this with you forever.
Mrs. Catford’s note: “We sharpen claws for the ‘Last.’”
Mr. Catford’s note: “We bite before we bark.”
Jerry’s note: “We do all three before dessert.”
The Clown’s Arsenal
When the polite version gets ignored, we let The Clown step in with his closing lines:
- “You’ll remember it when it matters most.”
- “It’s funnier if I don’t explain.”
- “Let’s just say… you’ll see.”
- “Ohhh… you’ll figure it out.” (Signature)
If anyone asks what they mean? (low chuckle) “You’ll figure it out.”
LinkedIn Warriors and Mic-Drops
Should the corporate defenders pop up foaming, the Catfords have their follow-ups:
Mrs. Catford: “Oh, darling… I wasn’t clawing at you. I was clawing at the system. If that stung, maybe check why.”
Mr. Catford: “Funny thing about barking back—you just confirmed you were the target.”
Jerry: “Relax. It’s not personal… unless you make it personal. In which case—well, I’m enjoying saying this out loud.”
And if they still keep coming?
The Clown: “You keep asking for clarity like it’s going to help… ohhh, you’ll figure it out.” [low chuckle]
Then we walk away. No more replies. Let them stew.
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