The Will to Resist

Gremlin Resitas — Chocobo Timeline Collapse

(When the bird lore goes too far)

Door SLAMS.

Shop bell RINGS.

Feathers in the air.

…

AIGHT.

EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.

Y’ALL TOLD ME—

IN Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift—

I GOTTA:

OR I LOSE MY WHOLE CLASS.

COOL.

I ACCEPTED THAT.

I SAID:

“JUST THROW A POTION ON THE BIRD.”

I FOUGHT FOR THAT BIRD.

I BLED FOR THAT BIRD.

I WATCHED THAT BIRD GET CRIT FROM ACROSS THE MAP.

…

AND NOW YOU’RE TELLING ME—

THAT SAME BIRD—

CAN TURN INTO

Chocolina—

A HUMAN.

A SHOPKEEPER.

A FULL-ON:

“WELCOME BACK, SWEETIE~ 💕”

💀

NAH.

NAH NAH NAH NAH—

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT—

IN ONE TIMELINE:

🐤

“I’m fragile… please protect me…”

IN ANOTHER TIMELINE:

💃

“I SELL WEAPONS, ARMOR, AND EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.”

WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY

WHEN I WAS GETTING JUMPED BY ARCHERS??

WHERE WAS CHOCOLINA—

WHEN MY BIRD WAS GETTING

TURNED INTO ROTISSERIE??

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME—

THE BIRD I WAS BABYSITTING—

HAD A FINAL FORM—

AND IT WAS:

RETAIL??

💀💀💀

I’M OUT HERE:

AND THIS BIRD?

LEVELS UP INTO:

CUSTOMER SERVICE WITH LIP GLOSS.

NO WONDER THE KNIGHT CLASS STRUGGLES—

THE BIRD GOT OTHER CAREER GOALS.

I’M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE—

AND THE BIRD IS LIKE:

“This ain’t even my final job.”

FINAL VERDICT:

IF I LOSE THE BIRD AGAIN—

I AIN’T HEALING IT.

I’M HANDING IT A RESUME.

Controller drops.

Shop music plays.

Enemy confused.

“Kweh~ Come again~ 💕”

🐤💃🔥

🧾 Jerry’s Note