Gremlin Resitas v10.2 — The Oven Mitt Clause (TADC: The Amazing Digital Circus)
"I've spent years in this circus and even I know not to critique the ringmaster while he's holding the oven mitts."
— Kinger, probably
The Ringmaster had already survived:
- Seven Pomnis.
- One flattened rabbit.
- An illegal shrimp investigation.
- Multiple emotional breakdowns.
- A complete collapse of workplace morale.
Yet despite all of this, he still asked the fish for their honest opinions.
The first fish asked where the continental breakfast was.
The second fish informed him that he was rhyming like a fool.
A silence fell over the resort.
The Ringmaster lowered his head.
Not in anger.
Not in hatred.
But in disappointment.
The kind of disappointment that comes from asking for a little kindness and receiving a customer satisfaction survey instead.
Then the fish never saw the oven mitts until they were on.
Jerry's Marginalia
Some people believe consequences come from malice.
Others believe consequences come from fate.
But occasionally consequences arrive because someone looked directly at a visibly exhausted circus ringmaster, ignored every warning sign in existence, and decided that was the perfect moment to submit feedback.
This condition is known as:
Acute Read-The-Room Deficiency.
Their prognosis remains poor.
Archivist's Note
The fish were not punished for speaking.
They were punished for possessing absolutely zero situational awareness.
A veteran of the Circus would have known better.
After all: