Gremlin Risitas #035 — Who Said That Nonsense?
Subject: Randy Pitchford (BL4 launch week)
Offending Line: “Premium game for premium gamers.”
Context: PC stutters, mixed reviews, leaf-blower advice about 1440p + DLSS, and a “buy better hardware” sermon… to folks who already paid.
Diagnosis (Dept. of Petty Affairs):
- Jerry: “Not a TED Talk—more like a warranty void if opened.”
- Mrs. Catford: “Deflection with extra gloss. Zero grace.”
- Mr. Catford: knocks a stack of patch notes off the counter
- The Clown: “HA! The only thing getting ‘upgraded’ is his LinkedIn.”
Mockery Clip (Who Said That Nonsense?):
— Man currently speedrunning Uninstalled% at shareholder any%.
- Verdict:
Uninstalled. (The speech, not the franchise.)
Sentence: 15 minutes of shader compilation… for his PR team.
Epitaph: The guy shouting “upgrade” is the one about to get removed from party.
Forecast: The patches will smooth frames. The noise will fade. But Randy’s mouth? That’s the true endgame bug — and when it crashes, the crowd will cheer.
#GremlinRisitas #WhoSaidThatNonsense #Borderlands4 #RandyPitchford #DeptOfPettyAffairs #ClownApproved