Gremlin Risitas #038 — Silence Tax vs. Spotify
Signed by: Jerry the Ankle Biter (with a wink from Boss Boris)
[Gremlin perched on a broken speaker, earbuds dangling. His grin’s too wide, laugh bubbling up like static feedback.]
They sell you convenience like it’s religion: pay a subscription, give up a little privacy, and cough up your GB for the privilege of being marketed to between songs.
So I did a thing. Not proud. Not even bragging about the how.
Just the effect on how others took it, me smiling from ear to ear:
- Compromising Carl fainted.
- The Clown wheezed in laughter after seeing it.
- But the Boss?
- He lit up another cigar and nodded once—in perfect approval.
Result?: Zero ads, zero data bleeding, and a smug little economy where I win and Spotify gets to stare at an empty chair. Petty? Absolutely. Effective? Also yes. Lulz achieved.
Confirmed Kill:
- “Spotify: you wanted my attention. I gave you silence instead.”
— Jerry
The Council Cuts:
Mrs. Catford: “Charging rent for silence? Grace claws deeper than that.” 🐾
Mr. Catford: (tips a stack of expired gift cards off the counter.)
Jerry: “Boss, I stamped it petty — they wanted bandwidth, I gave them bankruptcy.”
The Clown: “HA! Their next playlist is an obituary track!”
[Gremlin flicks the lighter, then static fills the alleyway. He leans back, wheezing laughter until the flames eat the last note.]
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