Gremlin Risitas — Baptized in Smut
[Gremlin wheels a baptismal font on stage, except it’s just a beat-up Walmart mop bucket. He dips a raccoon paw in it like it’s holy water.]
So apparently… we out here treating “Smut” like George Carlin’s forbidden word.
Every time I say it, someone gets baptized by accident.
I don’t even need the cross — just the Steam link.
Click it once, BOOM — welcome to the Church of Regret.
[Shrugs.]
I ain’t your preacher, I’m your raccoon with a mic.
Smut, smut, smut — and splash splash splash — whole crowd dripping like I just ran a sprinkler system on stage.
You think I’m kidding? Nah. Here’s the landmine you stepped on yourself:
Now excuse me while I canonize this with mop water and call it divine.
[Gremlin tips the mop bucket over, slips on the water, and laughs like El Risitas as the Clown collapses next to him wheezing blue in the face.]
#gremlinrisitas #smut #graffitiofthereckoning #bearblog