Gremlin Risitas Bonus Addendum — The “Hallway Raccoon Encounter & The Princess Distribution Event” Protocol (Day 2 of 6)
Haus Morgenrot · Corridor Wildlife Division
Now look.
At first the exhausted raccoon thought the universe was finally calming down.
💀
Wrong.
🧾 Abschnitt 0 — The Princess Distribution Event
VERY early morning.
Still dark outside.
Haus Morgenrot barely awake.
Tiny meowing detected near outer sector.
New tech discovers: 🐈 Illegal Smol Creature™
Turns out the stray hallway cats successfully deployed: 🎮 Kitten Distribution System™
And honestly?
The little thing apparently activated instant emotional adoption protocols because the new tech immediately decided:
“Yep. This screaming goblin belongs to me now.”
💀
Germlin response upon seeing tiny kitten:
“Take your buttheaded child.”
Kitten later officially designated: 👑 Princess™
Honestly? Peak cat naming energy.
🧾 Abschnitt 1 — The Hallway Raccoon Encounter
NOW HERE comes the real cursed event.
10:05 PM.
Germlin already escaped Haus Morgenrot once.
Realizes: 🎮 WALKIE-TALKIE STILL INSIDE™
Forced to return upstairs into the building after clock-out.
Second floor hallway sector.
Quiet.
Dark.
Still.
Then suddenly…
A LARGE BLACK BALL OF FUR begins moving toward employee lounge sector.
💀
At first Germlin genuinely thinks:
“Who the hell is that?”
So naturally the exhausted corridor entity shouts:
“HEY YOU!”
The creature FREEZES.
JERKS AROUND.
Turns dramatically.
And Germlin realizes:
🦝 ACTUAL RACCOON DETECTED 🦝
At this point both hallway entities stare at each other in mutual confusion.
Probably both thinking:
“Brother… why are YOU here?”
💀
Then Germlin delivers sacred corridor command:
“Yeah you shoo!”
Raccoon immediately flees around corner sector and disappears into: 🎮 Haus Morgenrot Shadow Realm™
Honestly?
The symbolism is becoming dangerous now.
Because let’s review:
- exhausted hallway survival creature ✔
- survives off oatmeal and Monster ✔
- wanders corridors at night ✔
- carries clipboards ✔
- emotionally operates through instinct ✔
- spiritually associated with raccoons ✔
…and now REAL raccoons are appearing near employee lounge sector after hours.
Haus Morgenrot itself has begun physically manifesting metaphors.
💀
🧾 Final Verdict
Corridor Wildlife Division deployed:
- one illegally smol kitten ✔
- one shadow raccoon entity ✔
- and one exhausted Germlin caught between institutional paperwork and woodland cryptid encounters ✔
Princess successfully adopted.
Raccoon successfully expelled from second-floor operations.
Haus Morgenrot remains spiritually unstable.
🧾 Doctrine Seal
“Eventually the hallway raccoon stared into the darkness…
…and the darkness stared back wearing tiny grabby hands.”
💀
Filed and Stamped: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand 🦝
Corridor Wildlife Archivist · Haus Morgenrot
Motto: “Neutral all the way down.”