Gremlin Risitas — Courtroom of Wolves
[Gremlin stands on the defense bench, lighter clicking open-shut. Papers scatter. A jury of AO3 readers leans forward; the judge adjusts his glasses, baffled at the word pheromones.]
Subject: The Omegaverse copyright trial, 2018–2020.
Offending Line: “My Omega howl is unique. That’s intellectual property.”
Council Cuts:
Mrs. Catford: “So the courtroom reeks of wolf musk, and this is what they call precedent? 🐾”
Mr. Catford: (drops a law book, spine cracked like a femur.)
Jerry: “Boss, this isn’t law — it’s fanfic with billable hours.”
The Clown: “HA! Fungus among us! The lawyers scratching in sync — Athlete’s Foot of the Narrative!”
Mockery Clip: “Your honor, Exhibit B is a knot chart. We submit it into evidence.”
Verdict: Ownership denied. You can’t trademark sneex.
Sentence: Counsel must serve 30 days reading AO3 tags out loud, in chambers, without water.
[Gremlin lights the smoke. The wheezy laugh fills the room, echo bouncing off oak panels. Judge bangs the gavel, but the Clown’s chuckle drowns it out.]
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