Gremlin Risitas Entry #015 — The Spite Shift
[Gremlin clocks in early, thermal johns under the apron. The Clown’s already giggling at the freezer fans, broken and wheezing in sync with him.]
Today wasn’t about bragging. It was about showing up, fueled by spite and middle fingers — and making people laugh along the way.
Aisle Comedy Hour
- Lady said “No” before I could even ask. I imitated her “No,” and just like that we were chuckling. She had cookies, so I told her: “Get milk.”
- Another lady came in with a paper list. I called it “junk,” and we joked until I told her her smile was great. Admitted I say dumb shit sometimes — like this.
- Up front, I crossed paths with another shopper. Told him: “I’m figuring this shit out in real time.” That honesty got a laugh too.
Manager Exchange
Store manager asked if I wanted to come in early. I told him straight:
- I’ll always show up, just give me a heads up.
- I work out of spite. I love my family, but I’m not breaking the Broke Doctrine.
- Cashed my 401k, sitting on it.
- If I had 40 hours? Bet your ass I’d cash the fuck out.
He gave me the nod, said 2pm to close, and we fist-bumped.
Freezer Work
Clocked in early. Knocked out the freezer for the freezer guy. Noticed the fans were dead. Told the night manager, told the store manager. No bragging, just logged it.
The Takeaway
I don’t run on praise. I run on willpower, spite, and dumb jokes that make people chuckle while I get the work done.
Full-time Gremlin, but a reliable one. I laugh, I clock, I correct, and I keep receipts — even when the fans break.
🤣🤣🤣
Graffiti of the Reckoning:
- “I don’t need applause — the chuckles are enough.”
Echoes of the Clap:
- Every laugh that followed me out of the aisle was proof the shift burned bright, not out.
#gremlinrisitas #015 #spiteshift #deptofpettyaffairs #graffiti #brokedoctrine #echoesoftheclap