Gremlin Risitas Entry #023 — The Imaginary Rent Collection
[Gremlin strolls into Walmart, cart half-full, eyebrow cocked.]
I swipe the EBT. Pin’s correct. System says: “Nah fam.”
Alright, maybe I fumbled. Call the bank—nope, I’m good. Try again. Walmart still grinning like a broke slot machine.
So I trim the cart, cut it lean, reload it clean— and what do I get? A 30-day ‘lol nope’ text.
That’s when I laugh. Not because it’s funny—because incompetence this raw deserves rent money.
If we were friends? That’d be the end of it. I’d roll up smiling with my crew—Catfords at my side, Jerry in the robe. No yelling, no fuss.
- Just: “Where’s the rent?”
And when they can’t pay in competence? We break their imaginary legs and leave grinning.
Darrien’s IRS Stamp #001
"You’d owe me three times.
- – Once in coin.
- – Once in body parts.
- – And the last in silence, as the only thing you recall is me smiling when the debt is paid in full."
Ledger closed. Audit eternal. No appeals.
[Gremlin sips. The laugh wheezes out— and the only sound left is the AC humming above the dead register.]
#gremlinrisitas #thewilltoresist #thewilltosurvive