Gremlin Risitas Entry #028 — Sock Puppet Tribunal
So there I am—bus late, old head mouthing off, fire buzzing in my chest.
Do I throw hands? Nah.
Do I throw words? Nah.
I pull two socks out of my pocket. Correctional puppets. My secret WMD.
🎭 Gaslighting Gary (waving wildly):
“Now hold on! This raccoon is innocent! The bus wasn’t late. You were early. Time is fake. Sit down.”
🎭 Compromising Carl (arms crossed, stitched-on frown):
“Gary, please. Let’s be civil. He’s mad, I’m hungry, and clearly nobody’s winning. I say we settle: you get the last word, and we get tacos.”
🎭 Gary:
“Tacos? The man’s yelling about shanks!”
🎭 Carl:
“Exactly. He needs a snack. Nobody yells about shanks on a full stomach.”
🐾 Mrs. Catford (polishing her claws):
“I can’t believe you’re apologizing with socks.”
🐾 Mr. Catford (chewing Carl’s hand):
“Correction: socks and tacos. I like this plan.”
🤡 The Clown (rolling on the ground, howling):
“HAHAHA! He brought puppets to a fistfight! Imagine losing to polyester diplomacy!”
Me?
I bow slightly with the puppets, look the old head dead in the eye, and say in stereo:
“Sorry. Sorry.”
Then I chuckle, because damn—it finally happened. I got to use them.
#GremlinRisitas #Unferddled #SockPuppetTribunal #DeptOfPettyAffairs #BookOfBoris