Gremlin Risitas Entry #029 — The Polite Firewall
Most people think respect means submission. They mistake “sir” and “ma’am” for weakness. They don’t realize it’s just me clocking in— like punching the timecard at Sprouts.
I can be polite all day.
“Yes, sir.”
“No, ma’am.”
Calm, steady, unferddled. But push too far—get personal, get nosy—and the Polite Firewall slams down.
Not rude. Not angry. Just a razor in silk.
“I’d rather not discuss that, thank you.”
That’s the line that keeps me untouchable. And if the gums keep bumping? That’s when I reach into the bag… and let the sock puppets clock in.
🎭 Gaslighting Gary tilts his stitched head:
“You’re not mad, you’re just confused.”
🎭 Compromising Carl shrugs with yarn arms:
“Let’s meet in the middle—you shut up, and we get tacos.”
The crowd stares. The noise breaks. Because who the hell fights sock theater?
🐾 Mrs. Catford:
“Disgusting. Effective. Carry on.”
🐾 Mr. Catford:
“Sock tastes like polyester justice.”
🤡 The Clown:
“BAHAHA! He brought a firewall AND puppets! This ain’t debate, this is dinner theater!”
So yeah. Be polite. Be calm. But never let anyone mistake manners for chains. Because behind the “sir” and “ma’am” is a raccoon with a firewall— and two socks ready to testify.
#GremlinRisitas #PoliteFirewall #Unferddled #SockJustice #DeptOfPettyAffairs