Gremlin Risitas Entry #030 — The Puppet Show Defense
Conflict is boring. Everyone’s seen the chest puff, the curse words, the same recycled “I’ll fight you” energy.
Me? I don’t fight. I perform.
Step One: The Setup
“You mind if I try out something on you? It’s for entertainment.”
They pause. They nod. Curiosity is a leash stronger than anger.
Step Two: The Disclaimer
“Before we start—you might think I’m unhinged. That’s fair. But I’m clinically insane. Therapist says this helps with my sanity.”
Do they believe it? Doesn’t matter. The seed is planted. They’re locked in for the ride.
Step Three: The Bit
I pull out the socks. Gaslighting Gary. Compromising Carl.
🎭 Gary:
“You’re not angry. You’re just early. The bus isn’t late, time is lying.”
🎭 Carl:
“Gary, shut up. Let’s compromise. He stops yelling, we get tacos, and everybody lives.”
Gary screams. Carl shrugs. And the stranger? They watch, stuck between fear, laughter, and secondhand embarrassment.
🐾 Mrs. Catford:
“Deranged. Effective. Carry on.”
🐾 Mr. Catford:
“Sock tastes like polyester victory.”
🤡 The Clown (howling):
“BAHAHAHA! He told them he was insane and then hit ‘em with Sesame Street violence! Imagine trying to fight that!”
And me? I stay smiling. Because whether they laugh, retreat, or call me crazy… I already won.
#GremlinRisitas #PuppetShowDefense #Unferddled #SockJustice #DeptOfPettyAffairs