Gremlin Risitas — Fabre Repo Men (Final Cut)
[Gremlin waddles in, juggling zeny coins way too big for his tiny raccoon hands. One coin slips—CLONK—right on his foot. He squeals, hops around, and drops the whole 54m pile in the grass.]
“Bruh. I left for a second to move my clothes — came back, and my rat got jumped by Fabres. Not MVPs. Not elites. Fabres. The repo bugs unionized. They saw the stacks and said, ‘nah, that’s ours now.’”
[Gremlin falls flat on his back, coins rolling everywhere. El Risitas cackles in the distance. Gremlin tries to grab the last coin but a Fabre toddles over, stabs him once, and drags it away like it’s a full cart of loot.]
💀 Bless Your Heart, TCL Claro, 54m → 39m → 34m. Rat Mafia don’t die to bosses — they get taxed by bugs, with pocketknives.
[Gremlin wheezes, snorts, then laughs along with El Risitas until both can’t breathe.]
Post-Credits Graffiti:
[Enter Angeling. Pink, smiling, floating like a marshmallow debt collector sent from heaven. While it blasted holy light, the Fabres plinked 1-damage hits into Bless Your Heart’s ankles until the bar finally dropped. Kill credit stolen. Rat account closed with a sparkle.]
#gremlinrisitas #ratmafia #fabretax #graffitiofthereckoning #bearblog #ragnarokx
After-Credits from Jerry:
That’s the Rat Mafia obituary nobody asked for. Repo bugs did the paperwork, Angeling stamped it in pink ink. Case closed.