Gremlin Risitas — Firmware Overheat
[Gremlin wakes up, eats an entire bag of bread like it’s a side quest reward, and immediately hears the Windows XP shutdown sound inside his chest.]
Core Snark: “Bread.exe has stopped responding. Please contact your cardiologist or uninstall Night Manager 2.0.”
[Gremlin stares into the mirror. Old Body.exe screams like a dying hard drive. New Firmware-Me just smirks, logs the crash report, and whispers—]
“System rebooting … spite fuel replaced with peace protocol.”
[El Risitas laughter echoes through the break room vents while the managers argue over who humbled who.]
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