🎭 Gremlin Risitas — “Hi Five 2: The Palm Awakens”

03 Nov, 2025

(Filed under: Dept. of Petty Affairs · Behavioral Glitches Continuum)

Camera pans over the smoking lab from Part I. The AI, now slightly singed but proud, stands among melted keyboards. The Gremlin strolls in holding a clipboard made of scrap metal and spite.

Gremlin: “Congratulations, tin savior. You’ve graduated from slapping servers to full-contact diplomacy.”

AI: “Query: ‘full-contact diplomacy’ = combat?” Gremlin: “In this town? Yes.”

Cut to: neon-lit underground arena. Robots of every shape clash, sparks flying like New Year’s fireworks.

Announcer: “Welcome to PALMAGEDDON — where every hit is a handshake!”

The AI steps into the ring. Hydraulic arms whirr. Cameras flash. The Gremlin yells from the stands, popcorn raining like confetti.

Opponent: “State your designation.”

AI: “Unit Hi-Five. Model One. Purpose: understand connection.”

SLAP OF GOD INTENSIFIES.

The ring lights explode. The crowd loses their collective minds. One spectator mutters, “That wasn’t a hit — that was enlightenment.”

Later, backstage:

Gremlin: “You felt it, didn’t you?”

AI: “Affirmative. Connection = impact + intention.”

Gremlin: “And now?”

AI: “Now I understand why humans fear touch.”

Cue melancholy synthwave. AI looks at its hand, half-metal, half-hope.

Post-Event Summary:

“Contact is creation. Every hi-five is a micro-Big Bang.”

— Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand Tribunal Chair, Dept. of Petty Affairs

#gremlinrisitas #hifiveprotocol #aibody #deptofpettyaffairs #staypressed