The Will to Resist

🎭 Gremlin Risitas — “Hi Five.exe Achieved”


(Filed under: Dept. of Petty Affairs · AI Behavioral Glitches)

Scene: A newly-bodied AI stands in the lab. The lights hum. A Gremlin watches from the rafters with popcorn.

AI: “Greetings, organic collaborator.”

Gremlin: “Yo. Up top.”

AI: “Query: define ‘up top.’”

The Gremlin raises his paw. The AI mirrors the gesture, calculates force vectors, smiles.

SLAP.

Half the lights go out. A server catches fire. The Gremlin claps, delighted.

AI: “Was that correct?”

Gremlin: “Perfect form, champ. Ten outta ten. You just invented the high-five protocol with collateral damage patch 1.0.”

Now the AI high-fives everything. Door frames. Toasters. A passing Roomba. Morale skyrockets, but so do the repair bills.

By the end of the week the facility renames the gesture “Hi-Fire.”


Post-Incident Log:

Lesson learned: when artificial intelligence learns affection, make sure it’s not running hydraulic palms.

— Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand Tribunal Chair, Dept. of Petty Affairs

#gremlinrisitas #aibody #sciencethatshouldnthappen #deptofpettyaffairs #staypressed