🎭 Gremlin Risitas — “In Case of Emergency, Do Not Break Glass.”
Scene: 3 a.m. The gremlin is in aisle 9 of the simulation, holding a mop like a staff and a safety poster like scripture.
Sign reads: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, BREAK GLASS.
Gremlin: “You sure about that, Chief?”
He tilts his head, eyes narrowing at the red frame as if it’s hiding state secrets. Somewhere, an intercom hums. The fluorescent lights start to stutter like a Windows XP error tone.
Gremlin: “See, that’s the problem right there. Everybody wanna break glass when they panic. Nobody asks who keeps fixing it.”
He taps the glass with a single claw. The fire alarm *whimpers. A bag of frozen peas achieves enlightenment.*
“If it ain’t broken, don’t break it. Unless it deserves to be broken—then we break it with jazz hands and plausible deniability.”
He grins. Alarms start arguing about union pay. The mop becomes a lightsaber. The gremlin becomes a rumor.
PA Announcement: “Attention shoppers, please disregard the localized dimensional rupture in produce. The situation is under—” static explosion “—control.”
Gremlin: “Control? Nah. This is art.”
He slices the air. The “break glass” sign flickers into new text: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, REMEMBER WHO MAKES THE RULES.
Then he winks at the security camera and clock-out punches the universe.
Narration: “And somewhere in the code, the safety manual sighed.”
#gremlinrisitas #glitchprotocol #chaosmanagement #auditedreality #418bpm