Gremlin Risitas — Laundry Detergent: The Phantom Menace
I woke up on time. Same time as always. Even on bad sleep, the system boots clean.
And somehow—somehow—the first task of the day was solving a problem that does not exist.
Where’s the washing powder?
I don’t know. I don’t use it. I use pods. This is not my side quest.
Yet here we are.
A household mystery with no clues, no witnesses, and no jurisdiction. Just vibes. Bad ones.
This is how it always goes:
- The item is missing
- Responsibility floats through the air like a cursed mist
- Everyone looks around, hoping it lands on someone else
Not today.
I solved it the correct way.
“I don’t know. That’s not mine. Do not look at me.”
Case closed. Force balance restored.
And yes—this happened right after MLK Day. A holiday about peace, dignity, and not burdening others with bullshit.
Naturally, the universe responded with: Laundry Detergent: The Phantom Menace
No villain. No moral lesson. Just a reminder that shared spaces generate background noise whether you consent or not.
I declined the quest. I conserved my energy. I let the Force deal with it.
The detergent will reappear someday. They always do.
Until then:
- Pods remain superior
- Silence remains undefeated
- And I am not your damn laundry oracle
😌