🎭 Gremlin Risitas Protocol v1.7 — “The Pumpkin Pie Orientation”
Scene opens in the Department lecture hall. The whiteboard reads: “TAKE MEMES SERIOUSLY — ADVANCED COURSE.”
Gremlin #1: “Welcome back, class! Today’s guest instructor: Pumpkin Pie, teaching the youth how to argue online with flavor!”
Gremlin #2: “Is this a cooking class or a coping class?”
Gremlin #1: “Both. Stir once for wisdom, twice for Wi-Fi warfare.”
Pumpkin Pie spins the marker dramatically, writes “DEBATE WITH STRANGERS FOR FUN” in bright orange.
Gremlin #1: “Beautiful handwriting. Zero impulse control. Perfect candidate for tenure.”
Gremlin #2: “What’s the curriculum?”
Gremlin #1: “Step one: take every meme personally. Step two: delete evidence when enlightenment arrives. Step three: let the Department archive it anyway.”
Bell rings, half the class logs out, and a single emoji apple rolls across the floor.
Patch Notes 1.7.2
- Added Pumpkin Pie elective to replace “Sweetbread Studies.”
- Buffed sarcasm by 42 %.
- Reduced chill cooldown to zero.
- Introduced Thread Isolation Protocol (Sugar-Free Edition).
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