🎭 Gremlin Risitas Protocol v2.0 — “The Entitlement BBQ Clause”
Filed under Dept. of Petty Affairs // Addendum to Marginalia XXXI — The Entitlement Burn Clause
Scene: fluorescent break-room hellscape. Vending machine hums like a dying choir. A gremlin in a hi-vis vest flips a burger over an open filing-cabinet fire.
Gremlin #1: So…the entitled ones set the system on fire again?
Gremlin #2: sips burnt coffee Yup. Wanted more sauce for their free samples.
Gremlin #1: And now?
Gremlin #2: Now they’re mad the smoke stings their eyes.
Gremlin #1: Classic. bites burger Tastes like irony and missed deadlines.
PA announcement crackles: “Attention shoppers: humility is 50% off in aisle 9. Limit one epiphany per customer.”
Gremlin #1: Ever notice it’s always the ones with the cleanest hands yelling about hard work?
Gremlin #2: They use sanitizer like it’s repentance.
Gremlin #1: Meanwhile, the real workers are in the back — turning despair into overtime.
Gremlin #2: And still getting written up for ‘tone.’
Both laugh as the lights flicker.
Gremlin #1: So what now?
Gremlin #2: grinning through the smoke Same thing as always — roast marshmallows on their moral outrage and call it team-building.
Patch Note v2.0.1
- Added BBQ sauce of accountability
- Reduced empathy cool-down by 30 seconds
- Increased laughter radius
- Fixed bug where entitled people thought they were the main character
Filed and stamped by Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand (DPA)
Doctrine: Don’t bark — bill.
Motto: I don’t flex, I calculate.