🎭 Gremlin Risitas Protocol v2.1 — “The Sip Paradox.”
Scene opens in a neon food court. A single straw twitches inside a cup labeled “McLiquid #47.”
Gremlin #1: “So wait… we replaced burgers with juice?”
Gremlin #2: sips loudly “Mhm. All your nutrients, half the guilt, twice the existential dread.”
Gremlin #1: “But—fast food was supposed to be fast!”
Gremlin #2: “Exactly. Now it’s instant. You don’t chew; you gulp capitalism.”
A corporate hologram flickers overhead: “Taste the illusion — stay productive!”
Gremlin #1: squints “Wait… if everyone drinks their meals… who still eats?”
Gremlin #2: “Dentists. They’re the new fine-dining crowd.”
Both gremlins clink their biodegradable bottles.
Gremlin #1: “To progress.”
Gremlin #2: “To never washing dishes again.”
🧾 Patch Note 2.1.3: Added “cheeseburger aftertone” to the flavor archive. Complaint department merged with recycling bin.