🎭 Gremlin Risitas Protocol v2.6 — “The Tea Infinity”
Scene opens: cosmic break room, fluorescent hum, one raccoon and one gremlin huddled over a kettle shaped like the universe.
Gremlin #1: “You really brewed six different teas into one pot?” Raccoon (Jerry): “It’s called balance, sweetheart. Thanos does it with stones, I do it with leaves.”
Gremlin #2: sniffs mug “Smells like chamomile committing tax fraud.” Raccoon: “That’s the Earl Grey rebelling against capitalism.”
Gremlin #1: “And what’s this green one doing?” Raccoon: “Matcha. Exiled for crimes against flavor.”
They clink cups.
Gremlin #2: “To the Resonant Accord.” Raccoon: “To Tone, Tempo, and the Truth—and to anyone who still thinks pretentiousness is a seasoning.”
Sip.
Gremlin #1: “So what happens now?” Raccoon: “Now? We bark in our own house, sweep the ashes, and steep another pot.”
Universe sighs. Somewhere, a tea bag explodes in perfect comedic timing.
Patch Note v2.6.4
- Added Thanos Tea Mug (Legendary).
- Reduced matcha arrogance by 12%.
- Fixed bug where mirrors reflected unsolicited opinions.
- Improved bark acoustics in home dimension.
Filed, stamped, and steeped by: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand · Dept. of Petty Affairs
Doctrine: Don’t bark—bill.
Motto: I don’t flex, I calculate.