Gremlin Risitas — Public Loan Search Family Guy Special
[Scene opens in the Griffin living room. Peter’s on the couch watching TV. Phone rings.]
Lois: “Peter, it’s probably another telemarketer—don’t answer it.”
Peter: “Heh-heh, Lois, don’t worry. I got my new roommate to handle this.”
[Camera pans. Gremlin is sitting on the carpet cross-legged, eating glue straight out of the bottle. He grabs the phone.]
Loan Rep: “Hello, this is Public Loan Search, are you broke, desperate, and constantly in need of money?”
[Gremlin stares blankly. Then, instead of speaking, he just barks like a dog. LOUD. Three times. Then hangs up.]
Peter: slapping his knee “Freakin’ sweet! See, Lois? He’s like me, but dumber.”
[Gremlin giggles like El Risitas, then tapes the phone to Stewie’s tricycle and pushes it out the window. Tricycle rolls into traffic, explodes for no reason.]
Brian: “...Why do we live with this thing?”
Peter: “Because, Brian, he makes me feel normal.”
[Gremlin cackles again, then eats the exploded phone’s SIM card like a potato chip.]
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