Gremlin Risitas — Slain by Geometry
Encounter Log: The Gremlin vs. One (1) Goblin
Party composition:
The Gremlin
- Level: “I got this!”
- Weapon: Big Ass Broadsword.
- Backup weapon: Conceptually no.
- Wisdom stat: On cooldown.
Dungeon:
- Five feet wide.
- Stone walls.
- Moist. Judgmental.
DM:
“You hear skittering.”
Gremlin (already smiling):
“I draw my sword.”
The sword is the size of a theological disagreement.
Goblin appears. Three feet tall. Holding a knife that has definitely killed before.
Initiative is rolled.
The Goblin goes first. Of course it does.
Goblin:
stab
Four damage.
Gremlin:
“Fine.”
He winds up.
This is a five-foot corridor.
DM (gentle):
“You… have disadvantage.”
Gremlin:
“Coward.”
He swings anyway.
CLING!
The broadsword hits the wall. Sparks. Echo. The sound of confidence leaving the room.
Miss.
Goblin, now emboldened by geometry:
stab stab
Six damage.
Gremlin rolls his shoulders. Still smiling. Still hasn’t backed up.
Second swing.
CLANG!
The sword lodges briefly between stone and regret.
DM:
“You lose your bonus action freeing it.”
Goblin:
stab
Critical hit.
The goblin’s knife is basically a letter opener, but it found a gap in the armor labeled Hubris.
Gremlin:
“…wait.”
Third round. Blood on the floor. No room to retreat. No dagger. No plan.
The Gremlin raises the sword again like this time the hallway might apologize.
CLING!
Miss.
Goblin:
stab
The Gremlin drops.
Silence.
The goblin wipes the blade on the Gremlin’s cloak, loots exactly three copper, and leaves.
DM clears throat:
“…so. That’s death saving throws.”
The Gremlin fails two. Succeeds one. Fails the last.
Dead.
Killed by a goblin. In a hallway. With a sword that was technically legendary.
Somewhere in the ether:
“Tuturuu!”
Not cruel. Not kind.
Just the dice reminding him:
Power without adaptability is just noise with weight.
Session ends.
The Gremlin writes in the margin of his character sheet:
Next time: bring a knife.
😌